This is the other half of the war effort . . .
. . . the one that often flies under the radar.
Posted on Facebook by
Michal Barkai Brody
Yesterday was my hardest night as a mother, since I became a mother.
My two children, in perfect synchrony.
They just lay on the floor and started screaming their souls out
“Daddy daddy daddy”.
In a perfect fit Yaniv announced that he was taking orders for 72 hours and that he didn't worry.
Three days without availability. We know what this means right?
Of course we won't worry about who.
Clearly.
***
So last night I felt that all I wanted was to take myself and escape my soul.
To get some love, pampering, softness and relaxation.
I sure didn't do it.
Instead I hugged and kissed,
I fed and shaved,
I meditated and fell asleep
But inside there's not one ounce of power left.
***
This morning, thanks for asking
Started with new forces, telling myself that I am capable, strong and a champion.
And immediately after them, more surfaces on the floor (not mine, although I also felt like it at some point)
Yelling "daddy daddy daddy" in two voices
And rebuke tears that
"I wanted a pita cut in half and not length!!! Mother! I want daddy daddy daddy daddy"
***
This is the time to mark the time.
This war is a marathon that celebrates another quarter of a year (!!! ) And whoever doesn't run it may not understand.
And in a quarter of this year,
We,
The mothers (there are fathers too, but most of us are mothers)
That hold the back here with teeth and nails (that we haven't managed to nurture)
Don't accept Idan Raichel's performances at the base.
They don't open for us pampering barbecues,
They don't give us a free coffee or pay us in fun for the meal.
Most of the time we walk around the world with skin as thin as silk paper
Throat choke
And a tear tap that closed half-force because we need to keep the children healthy and sane here as possible.
***
You, who surround us
We don't always know how to act accordingly.
In order to help us survive another day and another day of an exhausting and brutal race that we didn't vote and we didn't want.
(And in my case and many others, we never imagined that of all the shining national missions, actually it would be our part of an effort in such a war. )
But our Queen Oprah Winfrey taught me one rule that I teach in all my programs and lectures:
"In life you get what you have the courage to ask for"
***
So I thought of some really little things I'd like to ask of you,
The people who live around them are mothers of the 8 heroic and brave order.
1.
To the neighbors: be patient.
One second before you honk in the car, one second before you scold the neighbor, one second before u wake up
Take a breath of air.
Because there are those that almost don't exist anymore.
The house is now being run on a battlefield, and it may feel different than usual but we’re at war for life every single day.
(This section is dedicated to a neighbor downstairs who already complained 6 times that at five thirty in the morning there is noise here, as if I wouldn't prefer to sleep my beauty sleep instead of tickling children to kindergarten)
2.
For parents and staff in frames: consideration.
#Is there a parent's meeting?
Make sure that you didn't leave the evening slots for mom who is currently alone.
Because she has no way to get there now like that, and this is becoming a mission for a thousandth that she didn't do.
# Do you have 8th order children in grade or kindergarten?
Send a message, ask how you can help, invite the child to you after the frames,
Don't need a big production, just a little attention.
# Are there any unusual tasks like a bright white shirt or bringing food to a picnic in the classroom?
Send a small text to the mother of order 8 that she may have missed these messages in the busyness of life.
And most of all don't want her child to feel different or abnormal.
3.
To friends and family: a good eye is a must.
# It's not you it's me
Your girlfriend doesn't answer her phone? It's possible that having a conversation now is an emotional burden.
It's literally like that.
Do not be angry and do not be disappointed. This is the situation right now.
And it has nothing to do with you.
#אפס שיפוטיות-
Don't start unnecessary arguments now, don't wake us up if it's not a hundred percent urgent, don't visit us. No, I'm repeating noooo to review the dishes in the sink, the home order, or the refrigerator, if you do not intend to send a surprise cleaner here.
The rule of thumb is that we are way, way behind our bottom red line.
And we have nowhere to contain any non-life-saving criticism right now.
(And neither did she)
#תרימו!!
A small message, a heart, a kind word, is the fuel of our soul, to feel visibility in this time
(Thank you Danny and Ella for the morning Ella Danny Bar David and for everything)
4.
To the brave couple at the front: we are at the front too.
Don't forget to lift, strengthen, appreciate, compliment.
Send some pampering, we deserve it too.
To remember and remind that we are queens, lionesses, brave
Because it's not obvious.
***
And whoever wants a bank of very concrete and practical ideas,
Out of many very good things I won but really not all of them win.
Instead of asking:
How can I help you?
Just offer clear, complex and practical things.
Here are a few examples.
I have the sisterhood and really the best friends in the world but definitely not everyone has a support system like that !! )
*What day should I send you dinner?
*When am I coming to help you with the laundry?
(You know it's you Noa Klein
*How can I help you on Saturday?
*Do you have any tests? Do you want me to come with you?
(You saved my life Adi Netzer )
* I come to you with ice cream / grape leaves / something fun soup when will I be at your place? And what scotch to use the tools?
(Who if not טלילה מעצבת פנים Michal Grouchko )
*When do you need me to take the kids out?
***
These are the things that came to me this morning,
In the parking lot of the garden
Invited with love to add your own, share and tag.
Together we will get through this.
It won't be easy and not glamorous and not short
But in the end
We are going to win.
***
Adding in the edit a huge thank you to those who offer me help.
Blessed to have support systems and my business is to produce sisterhood and communities of women that keep me alive in this time,
But amen that with reading the post,
Find someone around you to adopt at this time and just be there for her. )
***
"In life you get what you have the courage to ask for"
(Oprah Winfrey)
posted by Shira Salamone at 8:52 PM
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